I finally wrote a parody
by Blahsblah2001
Summary: Parody of a Zim episode. Dib and Zim fight, Ms. Bitters acts evil, throw detention into the mix and voila. A halfway interesting story.


I don't own anything exept the Island of Madagascar. And if you tell anyone, I will come after you.  
(Have you ever seen those disclaimers like, "I don't own Zim or Dib. I do own Dar, though,a nd if you use him, I will HUNT YOU DOWN!" Those are so funny…)  
I've never written a parody before, so… hang with me, K? Here's to hoping this doesn't suck TOO bad. If you laugh more than twice, I have accomplished my goal.

Dib sat at a table in the Skool cafeteria. Next to him, Gaz plays her gameslave obsessively. A few tables away, Zim is sitting poking at the brown coils of food on the lunch tray.  
"DISGUSTING EARTH FOOD!" He shrieked. Then, seeing everyone looking at him strangely, "I'M NORMAL! I loooove the FILTHY DISGUSTING treats."  
"Did you see that, Gaz?" Dib asked. "Didja? DIDJA!?!??"  
"No. I missed the whole thing." Gaz said, not looking up from her game screen.  
"He called the food disgusting."  
"So? The food IS disgusting. It's dog shit, stupid."  
Dib looks down at his half-eaten tray, and then runs for the bathroom, gagging. The other kids look at him and laugh. The ones that aren't throwing up, anyway.  
"STUPID EARTH WEASEL!!" Zim shouts after his sickened enemy. Ms. Bitters materializes behind him.  
"Earth weasel is not derogatory enough, ZIM." She hissed. "You have detention immediately after Skool." She pulled out a metal thing roughly the size of a microwave, and Closed it around Zim's head. The word 'detention' was painted in bright yellow letters on the front.  
"Detention?" Zim asked incredulously, pulling at the huge device. "I will go to no 'detention.'"  
"You WILL go." Said Ms. Bitters, jabbing at him with a bony finger. "Or I will personally send you to the under-the-underground classrooms."  
While Zim was screaming in horror at the mere thought, Dib returned to his seat next to Gaz. Gaz grinned, because she liked seeing Dib suffer.  
"Did you get it all out of your system?" She asked, not really caring.  
"Yeees…" Dib moaned, looking a little green.  
"Then don't buy tomorrow, that's what'll be on the plate."  
Dib rushed back into the bathroom, and Gaz grinned a little more. Not enough for anyone to notice, though. That would simply not do.

Somewhere far away, a chicken becomes very depressed, as a result of it's cousin being launched into space. Succumbing to despair, it smothers itself in cotton batting.  
No one notices it's passing, which is very sad.

Back in the Cafeteria, Dib is again studying Zim. Zim is studying his….food. Lots of hmm-ing and body language is involved.  
"Zim's got detention today." Said Gaz. "Maybe you should stay here and try to prove he's an alien." "I WILL DO THAT THING!" Said Dib, experiencing a moment of epiphany.  
Evryone who hears him gives him weird looks. Because that's a weird thing to shout, ya know?  
Gaz was very proud of herself because now Dib wasn't going to be home all night, and she liked being home alone. Plus they might just disappear forever, which had been known to happen in Ms. Bitters's detention.  
Zim brooded all afternoon. Stupid humans and their stupid detentions. They should be honored to let Zim leave!  
"HONORED!!!" He shouted, interrupting the Science teacher's lecture.  
"Do you have something to share, Zim?" Mr. Dutt asked, glaring at him.  
"I HAVE DETENTION AND I DO NOT NEED IT!!" Zim shrieked, jumping up on his desk.  
"Unless you want another detention," Mr. Dutt said menacingly, "You will sit down, shut up, and resume memorizing information like a zombie. Is. That. Clear?"  
"Yeees…" Zim mumbled, sinking back into his seat.  
Dib raised his hand.  
"Yes Dib." Said Mr. Dutt boredly.  
"Zim has a detention! A-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAHHAHAHAAA!!! He's such a stupid alien."  
"I'm sure you two will have a nice time together." Said Mr. Dutt, who's face was beginning to turn purple.  
"But I don't have detention…" Said Dib, pretending to be confused.  
"You do NOW." Said Mr. Dutt.  
Dib pretended to be disappointed, exept he really wanted a detention, so he could pester I mean observe Zim and his alien EVIL!  
Zim actually was disappointed because he had been planning to put his newest evil plan into action that night, but it would have to wait until tomarrow.  
"Sigh." Said Zim.  
"Siiiiiiiiiigh." Said Dib.  
"WILL THE TWO OF YOU SHUT YOUR PIE HOLES???!!" Shouted Mr. Dutt.  
They shut up.

Zim sat in the Detention hall, doodling exploding planets. Then he drew slaughtering rat people killikg humans. Then he drew all the slaughtering rat people eating Dib's HUMONGOUS HEAD!!! Really, have you seen that thing? It friggin' HUGE!  
Dib sidled over.  
"Hey Zim. Watcha doin?"  
"AHH! GERMS! BE AWAY FROM ME STINK-MUFFIN!!"  
"Stink muffin? Zim, you are really starting to lose your touch."  
"I LOSE NO TOUCH!! Zim has all the touch! ZIM IS LORD RULER OF THE TOUCH!!"  
People gave them odd looks, which is pretty usual by now.  
"That Zim is such a freak." Said a boy to his friends.  
"Yah…. I bet he's like… an alien or sumthin."  
"Shhhh!" Hissed a girl from nearby. "Don't say that! That's what Dib says. You can't agree with him! It's just not cool." The others bobbed their heads like retarded bobble heads. It wasn't good to agree with losers.  
"Can we get back to ME OVER HERE!!!" Zim screamed at the Author. She hastily returned focus to the CORRECT people.  
"I will destroy you!" Said Zim.  
"I'll prove you're an alien!"  
"LIAR!"  
"LAIR!!"  
"I will never let that happen so HA!"  
"I will never let that happen more so DOUBLE HA!"  
"I will take your ha and use it to DESTROY YOU!"  
"Nuh-uh!"  
"Yuh-huh!" "WILL YOU LITTLE MONKEYS SHUT UP!!" Screeched Ms. Bitters. Ms. Bitters was pissed because she was stuck with detention duty, which means she couldn't go home and feed on the souls of the unwilling.  
"I'm stuck here, and you little brats are NOT making it easier!"  
"I don wanna be here either!" Zim retorted, never to be outdone. Dib, feeling left out, took the opportunity to latch onto Zim and start yanking at his PAK.  
"GIMME THIS!!"  
"NOOOOO!!! Not me PAK!!"  
Zim started screaming and running all over the classroom, knocking over desks and chairs. People fled, even there was really no reason. Dib didn't let go. Even when they knocked the chalkboard off the wall and it flew down and shattered.  
Mrs. Bitters picked up pieces of the slate board. They were pretty sharp. She looked around her room at children huddled in a corner, and the two boys duking it out in the middle of the room.  
"SILENCE!!" She hissed, throwing the jagged stone at them. "You are just too horrible to live, so I'm going to steal your YOUTH AND LEAVE THE COUNTRY! A-HAHAHA!"  
Zim stopped strangling Dib. Dib let go of Zim's antennae. They stared at Ms. Bitters, who was glowing with a unearthly light. She was also cackling like a freaking crackhead, which is kind of scary.  
"Well, I guess we're going to have to team up again, like we do in pretty much every episode." Said Zim drearily.  
"I don't think so, but soon something will happen that'll make me agree with you." Dib said.  
Mrs. Bitters picked up a long sword that appeared on the floor.  
"I wonder why this was here. Ah, well. I'm going to tell you my whole plan so you heroes can find a way to escape. First I'm going to steal your life force, so I become unnaturally young again. Then I'm going to go to Columbia to run drugs."  
"You steal life force to stay young?" Asked a boy who wasn't particularly bright.  
"Oh yes," Said Ms. Bitters. "You know what they say, when the botox doesn't work, you can always sell your soul to the devil."  
A flaming hamster flew in the window. It landed on the sword, and the sword lit on fire. The hamster fell on the ground and exploded, with little pink firecrackers going off. Evryone clapped.  
"I agree with you now." Said Dib tonelessly. "So what do we do?"  
"I don't knooow…" Zim whined.  
"DIIIIIIIIIIEEE!!" Ms. Bitters screeched, launching herself at the students in the corner.  
"Oh, I know what we can do." Said Zim. He pulled a huge bomb out of his PAK.  
"Is there any particular reason you carry that around?" Dib asked.  
"No, not really. You just never know when you could use a bomb big enough to wipe out a small country." Dib nervously inched away from Zim and his bomb.  
"How about you chuck it at her, and I'll run away?"  
"Yeah, okay." Said Zim. Then, "hey… wait a second…" But Dib was already off running. Then he returned to the task of igniting to bomb.  
"ANYBODY GOT A LIGHT??" He yelled at the cowering kids in the corner. Somebody threw a BIC lighter at him.  
"Those aren't allowed on skool property." Said Ms. Bitters. The kid she was holding twitched and aged ten years in four seconds.  
Zim lit the bomb and took off. He was just reaching the Skool doors when it exploded, blowing a huge hole in the Skool wall. He watched the kids fall two stories to the ground. Ms. Bitters was flung into the sky, where she turned into dust and floated away.  
"Do you think she's gone?" Asked Dib, coming up behind Zim. They stared at the sky.  
"No," said Zim. " Don't think she'll ever be really gone." They stared at the sky for a few more seconds. The Zim punched Dib in the head and ran off. Dib chased after him.  
THE FRIGGIN END!

That's all I got, peoples. Unless you really want more. In which case there still won't be more, but it will make my life more worthwhile. I'm probably gonna have snow days for, like, the rest of the week, so I have lots of time to type. God is punishing the sinners of Ohio by pelting us with tiny ice chips. Aw! OW!! THE ICE! 


End file.
